


The Queen in the Inquisition

by DemonicSaiyans



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Approval Guide, Banter, F/M, My Cousland Warden, Queen Cousland, Random & Short, Warrior Cousland - Freeform, What-If, just for fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 11:18:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12107592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemonicSaiyans/pseuds/DemonicSaiyans
Summary: The Queen of Ferelden joins the Inquisition and deals with unique banter.(Aspired by someone else's post)(My Cousland reactions)





	1. Sera Banter

Sera: "So, I heard you were a nob."

"Excuse me?"

Sera: "Excuse yourself!"

"Let me rephrase that, what is a  **nob**?" 

Sera: "Stupid! It means noble! And I don't like nobles!"

"Wonderful to know. Thank you."

Sera: "Thankin' me? Ugh! This is why I hate nobs!" 

"Oh, I'm sure us  _nobs_ don't appreciate you either." 

Sera: "Whateva."

\----

Sera: "So... what is a queen like yourself hanging about with people?"

"I'm trying to help the Inquisitor to save Thedas." 

Sera: "No! I'm mean people people! Nobs like you prefer the company of your own people. For whatever reason." 

"Believe me Sera. Us  _nobs_ can't stand to be around each other for a second."

Sera: "Pfft! Yea, right! That's why you'll always hang around with real people. Frickin lier." 

"Maker, maybe because it's people like you that makes us stray from commoners."

Sera: "Knew it! Knew you couldn't be one of us!" 

"Not you maybe, but them? I could." 

\----

"Sera, I know it was you!"

Sera: "Okay queeny, what did I do?"

"Oh, I don't know. Placing rats in my sock drawer perhaps?" 

Sera: "Hahahaha! I bet you screamed! _Help me! Help me!_ " 

"Actually, I thought they were cute."

Sera: "Eww! You think-but how? Why?!"

"I have a natural fondness for animals. Big or small." 

\----

"Sera, dear, you seem to be itching quite a lot."

Sera: "Must've eaten somethin'"

"Or...roll in something."

Sera: "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hmm." 

Sera: "What did you-oh leaves! That's why there were leaves in my bed."

"Poison Ivy, to be exact." 

Sera: "Freakin' brilliant! Gotta steal that one!"

\----

Sera: "You're not like most nobs."

"Is that a compliment?"

Sera: "Of course! Pfft, for someone who's smart can be freakin' daft!"

"What changed your tune?"

Sera: "What tune? I'm not playing music."

"What I meant was- oh forget it."

Sera: "Hahaha, so stupid." 

\----

Sera: "I like you now."

"I'm glad to receive your approval."

Sera: "You may be annoying but also fun!"

"I aim to please."

Sera: "Ooo! I bet you do!"

\----

Sera: "You're like a nob but isn't."

"That... doesn't make any sense, Sera."

Sera: "Sure it does! You dress like a nob, speak like a nob, even sometimes acts like a nob."

"Okay..."

Sera: "Okay!" 

\-----

Sera: "Do you want to see my arse again?"

Inquisitor: "Excuse me? What?"

Sera:

(If romanced.) "I meant if queeny wishes to see my butt mark again. No need to be jealous, inky!" 

(Not romance) "I didn't tell you, because you never asked, but I have a butt mark on my butt." 

"Birthmark and no. Thank you for the...offer." 

Sera: "Well if you change your mind."

\----

Sera: "Wow!"

"What? Saw something interesting?"

Sera: "You're tall!"

"Yes, thank you for pointing out the obvious."

Sera: "You're taller than most people. Well people with tits." 

"....."

Sera: "No need to be shy queeny!" 

"I rather we talked about something else." 

Sera: "Don't like your hight? Too bad. Woof!" 

"Hmm...." 

\----

Sera: "Ugh, hate cookies."

"With enough practice, I'm sure you and the Inquisitor will make cookies you'll actually like."

Sera: "Freakin' flour!"

Inquisitor: "Please, don't remind me... I still can't get the flavor out of my mouth." 

"For once, I'm glad to have no taste buds." 

Sera: "Freakin' lucky!"

\----

Sera: "So no taste?"

"Not since seven years ago, no."

Sera: "That's... freakin' sad." 

"I suppose it is." 

Sera: "Sorry?" 

"No need." 


	2. Cassandra Banter

Cassandra: "You aren't what I expected..."

"Oh seeker? On whom did you expect?"

Cassandra: "A tomboyish woman with short hair."

"Does my appearance offend you?"

Cassandra: "M-Maker no! Of course not!"

"Good. I love my long locks."

\----

Cassandra: "Tell me...Where did you go?"

"Searching for the cure for the calling."

Cassandra: "Why stop? Why join us now?"

"Do you rather I leave?"

Cassandra: "O-of course not! I am glad you are here. Your skills are remarkable."

"Thank you, seeker. I'm glad to be here." 

\----

Cassandra: "Tell me something."

"Yes?"

Cassandra: "Is it true? What the book says about you and Alistair during the Blight."

"Happy Ever After?"

Cassandra: "Yes! Is it true?"

"*Sigh* Yes, why not." 

Cassandra: "So romantic!"

\----

Cassandra: "You can call me Cassandra."

"I'm sorry?"

Cassandra: "You keep referring to me as  _seeker_. I was giving you permission to call me by my given name."

"Thank you Cassandra. Though, I never needed permission to call anyone by their first name."

\----

(If romanced)

"You're smiling awfully lot lately."

Cassandra: "Wh-what? You must be seeing things!"

"Yes, of course. I must also just be seeing your face turn red." 

Cassandra: "L-let's talk about something else."

"Haha, gladly."

\----

Cassandra: "Do you regret not becoming Inquisitor?"

"Maker forbid! No!"

Cassandra: "Why not? I've heard your tale, you would of made a fine Inquisitor."

"Thank you but I rather not lead another army."

\----

Cassandra: "Tell me, do you miss your husband?"

"Of course I do. I haven't seen him in three years."

Cassandra: "Oh. I'm sorry to have brought it up."

"No need. It's fine."

Cassandra: "If you like, I could ask Leliana to invite the king."

"I appreciate the thought but no. He's rather busy, and besides, I'm close friends with Leliana."

\----

Cassandra: "You've been awfully quiet since I was announced as Divine."

"I do apologise, your grace. I was just hoping-"

Cassandra: "Hoping for someone else?"

"Someone who could make a difference." 

\----

Cassandra: "I understand your foul mood."

"I can't believe they picked Viviana as Divine!"

Viviana: "I'm so incredibly sorry for your disappointment."

"Save it." 

Cassandra: "Let's just pray to the Maker for a better outcome."

\----

Cassandra: "You've seem happy. Happy I've ever seen you. This wouldn't be because Leliana is the new Divine, could it?"

"Why, yes, yes it is."

Cassandra: "You believe Leliana could be better as Divine then I?"

"Leliana is not afraid to make changes."

\----

"I'm sorry for your lost, Cassandra."

Cassandra: "Thank...you. He was a fine young lad." 

"I'm sure he was..." 

\----

Cassandra: "I'm sorry about Stroud."

"*Sighs* Don't be, I didn't know the man."

Cassandra: "Yet, he was your brother in arms."

"Doesn't mean I have to mourn over him."

\----

Cassandra: "How do you feel about the Wardens exile?"

"Nothing really. Nothing changes unless there's another Blight."

Cassandra: "It does not effect you that your brothers and sisters are now banished?"

"It's their own foolish fault. Blood magic and fearing the unknown. Something should of clicked when all of them began hearing the calling.

Cassandra: "Maybe so, but if it was the seekers. I wouldn't be so-"

"Cold? It's fine. I've been called worse."

\----

Cassandra: "Must be a relief to have the Wardens in our ranks."

"Yes, I'm glad that me and my husband wasn't banished." 

\----

Cassandra: "Did you know?"

"Know what?"

Cassandra: "That Rainier isn't a true Grey Warden. Isn't Blackwall"

"I had my suspicions of course. But no, I didn't know."

Cassandra: "Does it anger you that he pretended to be one of you?"

"No. I pity him. Whomever would want to be a Grey Warden?"

Blackwall: "I'm not sure if the Hero of Ferelden should say something like that..."

"Of course! You sicken me Ser Rainier! Is that better?"

Cassandra: "Ugh."


	3. Cousland Approval Guide

**Greetings** (0-45 approval points.)

"Hello."

"May I help you?"

"Yes, what is it?"

(45-60)

"It's great to see you!"

"Oh, hello, what can I do for you today?"

"Need something?"

(60-100)

"Hello, love."

"Always a pleasure to see you."

"You simply brighten my day." 

 **Goodbyes** (0-45)

"Goodbye."

"Hopefully not so soon."

"Of course dear." 

(45-60)

"Leaving already?"

"We will chat soon, yes?"

"Have a nice evening."

(60-100)

"I was really enjoying our time together!"

"Please don't be a stranger!"

"I do hope you visit soon."

 **Tell me, how come only a Grey Warden could kill a Archdemon?** (0-60)

"I'm sorry but... it's a Warden secret."

(60-100)

"Simple, our blood. When an Archdemon is struck by a Grey Warden, the dragon will die, so will the host.

 **How did you and your husband survive?** (No approval needed.)

"That...is my secret. My apologies." 

**Approval Guide**

Celene a sole ruler: 10 points.

Celene and Briala reunited: 15 points

Gaspard rules alone: -15 points

Gaspard rules with Briala: -2 points

Three Way Truth: 5 points

Wardens not banished: 10 points

Exile Wardens: 5 points

Mages free: 15 points

Mages conscripted: -15 points

Templars recruited: 5 points

Templars conscripted: 10 points

Drink from the Well: 10 points

Morrigan drinks from the Well: 2 points

Dragon Defeated in Hinterlands: 15 points (If in party) If not: 5 points.

Dragon Defeated anywhere: 10 points (Must be in party and approval happens once) 

  **You should leave**. (0-45)

"I'm sorry I can't simply leave, especially after the way I've seen you rule" 

**You have too**

"I. Don't have to do anything." 

(45-60)

"I'm sorry but why?"

"Alright but remember, you made a powerful dangerous foe." (Leaves)

(60-100)

"Wh-what why? What did I do wrong?" 

"I'll leave. I hope you continue on the right path. (Leaves) 


	4. Blackwall Banter

Blackwall: "The tales of your beauty wasn't a myth."

"Why, thank you! You flatter me." 

Blackwall: "Milady, it wasn't flattery. It's the truth." 

\----

( **Before Blackwall's main mission)**

Blackwall: "How did you manage to kill an Archdemon?

"You're a Grey Warden yourself, you should know."

Blackwall: "Of course. Silly question..."

( **After Blackwall's main mission.)**

"I wish I could tell you Ser Rainier but then I'll have to kill you."

"You must be joking."

"Sadly, no."

\----

 "How come you didn't hear the false calling?" 

Blackwall: "I did but choose to ignore it."

"Really? Just simply ignored a loud song?"

Blackwall: "Is there a reason behind all the questions?"

"No. Just simply... curious."

\----

"Ser Blackwall, you seemed rather obsessed with the relics of old."

Blackwall: "How could I not? It's our history of the past."

"Yes,  _our_ history." 

\----

"Does the beard itch?"

Blackwall: "Maker, you have no idea."

"Then why not shave?"

Blackwall: "I can't..."

"Why? Lack of blade? Use a dagger."

Blackwall: "I've grown quite fond of my beard."

"Shame. I'm sure you'll look incredibly dashing without it.

Blackwall: "Haha, my lady, beard or no. I could never be  _dashing_." 

\----

"I knew you were a lier."

Blackwall: "I'm sorry."

"No, you are not."

Blackwall: "Excuse me?"

"You wouldn't have hidden your identity. You would have told your friends the truth."

Blackwall: "My lady, people wanted me dead."

"For good reasons. I will not bring up old wounds, just don't apologise to me again."

Blackwall: "I'm so-...I understand"

"Good, glad we have an understanding Ser Rainier." 

\----

Blackwall: "What you said..."

"Hmm...Oh were you talking to me?"

Blackwall: "My lady, I tried to do what was right."

"When it was necessary. If it wasn't for your former comrade, you would have kept your silly lie."

Blackwall: "I wouldn't call what I did as a  _silly_ lie." 

"I would. Pretending to be someone else is quite silly to me." 

\----

Blackwall: "Why do you call me  _Ser_ Rainier?"

"Because I refused to use a dead man's name."

Blackwall: "But why the Ser? I am no Knight. I don't deserve such honor."

"You may be a lier but also a gentleman."

\----

( **Romance Banter** )

"So you and the Inquisitor?"

Blackwall: "You disapprove?"

"Of course not! You two make a cute couple!"

Blackwall: "Then why the raised brow?"

"I was just wondering how she can she stand...all that fur."

\----

"You're lucky she'd took you back."

Blackwall: "I know. I don't deserve her though."

"No but if she thinks you do, then you should feel honored."

Blackwall: "I know what I feel,  _my lady."_

"Good. If it was me...You wouldn't be breathing."

Blackwall: "Then I'm glad she isn't you." 

"Hah!"

\----

"You're quite fortunate she didn't behead you."

Blackwall: "Please don't..."

"If it was me, I would have killed you in a heartbeat." 

Blackwall: "She isn't you. She could never could be you."

"Hmm?"

Blackwall: "Unlike you my lady, she is pure of heart."

"Which you've broken." 


End file.
